Sunday, March 22, 2009

kepala ku pening..

pernah tak..
kepala sakit sebab memikirkan sangat tentnag sesuatu yang tak masuk akal?
pernah tak...
jiwa kacau sehingga tak boleh nak bernafas?
pernah tak..
jantung berdegup dengan kencang sehingga badan kita berpeluh sejuk?
pernah tak..
hati sangat sakit kerana terpaksa menipu perasaan sendiri?
pernah tak..
mata sangat kabur akibat mencuba untuk mengelak terpandang diri nya?

aku pernah..
dan aku langsung tak faham apa maksud nya.


aku memang faham.

cuma aku tak nak mengakui nya.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

i heard this from somebody

this is a typical fiction about a typical girl, told by a typical person.
there was a girl.
she look like a nice and easy to get along kind of girl.
with her little smile and her giggle could make others to awe for a while.
she came from a broken family, but in the eyes of others,
her family look like another perfect family with the sweet little child that blessed by god.
the pain she bear and tense she had from her family taught her to be tough.
and no wonder the little girl grown up as a brave person as we could see.
all she faced before has taught her to be strong,
it is worthless if she cry,
the tears will show the others how weak and pathetic she lives.
so she decided to kill her feeling.
no more tears; she promised herself.
there she goes,she went away.
away from them, to a new place where no one know her.
and she thought, here she could carve a smile that been gone long time ago.
she smile, and she laugh, and they smile and laugh too.
but the fact is, they don’t really smile and laugh along with her.
they just laugh at her, sneer at her, make her look so vile.
she knew this, but she just continuously smile and smile.
she’s not willing to share the pain with other.
not a bit.
her experience have taught her to be like this.
the mask of hypocrisy that she’s wearing for this whole time,
finally smashed by her own guilt.
she don’t want to live a lie.
she don’t want to to be a faker.
the tears finally burst,
the wound finally seen.
she can’t live like this again.
it’s better if she live how she used to be..
perhaps, it is her destiny.
to be alone and ignored.